Beguiled ....

A word, a look,
dear god, that smile!
Were you put on this earth
just to beguile?
16/6/2011

Re-arranged!

How do you manage 
to pass through 
each day,
feeling this
way?
Too many secrets
to betray!

Pretending nothings
changed,
disconnected,
estranged,
your life
re-arranged.

When you love
someone 
so much,
yet knowing
you can't
touch!
17/5/2011

Here we go again ...

Once again in the middle of a dilemma,
(will I learn, ever?!)
playing the part of 'friend',
will this pain never end?
Can't you see you fool,
that the only thing I want,
is you!

Can't you see she doesn't love you,
that she's playing you for a fool?
Is this how you want to live your life,
full of pain and strife?
I can't do this any more,
god give me the strength,
to walk through that door!

So here I go again,
being your listening friend.
Trying to keep my thoughts to myself,
knowing she'd rather be anywhere else!
All the while my heart is breaking,
me giving all,
you thoughtlessly taking!


Not this time!
Not again!
There are limits,
even for you,
my friend!
5/5/2011

UP & down

So many ups,
too many downs,
she feels her world
spinning round.
She needs to weep,
tears in her eyes.
Instead she laughs,
while inside she cries.

She knows she can't keep
playing the game,
never knowing if
he feels the same.
Not brave enough
to step into the light,
she hides her passion
in the dark of the night.

Oh god, how she hates him,
one minute, the next,
in love with with a passion,
beyond reason to express.
Courage is something
she simply can't find,
answers to the questions
running round in her mind.
1/5/2011

Poetry for the peeved!

Today,
I hate the way,
you brush me off,
forget that I'm there,
as if you don't care!

Don't answer your phone,
leave me feeling alone,
I'm seriously annoyed,
and if you can't tell,
then just go to hell!

When I'm online,
cut me off, I'll be fine,
if you can't understand,
it's not all about you,
my feelings count too.

Yes, I am peeved,
more than a little agrieved,
take your troubles and go,
step right out that door,
I don't care anymore.

OK, so I lie,
bedamned though if I,
let YOU see me cry . . .
27/4/2011

A Moment of Magic

There's a place in my heart
reserved for your smile.
A part of my soul that begs
stay for a while.

A secret place 
especially for you,
a place of magic
when I'm feeling blue.

Give me your dreams,
your innermost thoughts.
Share every moment
in passionate talks.

Take from my heart
all I have to give,
being here, in this moment,
is the best place to live.
23/4/2011

The view from the window!

I feel so alone,
abandoned,
on my own,
tonight.

I'm here,
you're there,
I love you,
she doesn't care.

Skirting the edge,
of desperate passion,
unspoken yearnings,
dangerous obsession.

Alone . . . 
again!
22/4/2011

Too Bad!

I'm not in the mood today,
to play.
I'm frustrated and I'm sad,
too bad!

Somewhere exists another place,
another face,
another race,
a different pace.

If only I can find,
that illusive peace of mind!
19/4/2011

I weary of your expectations ...

I'm tired of being 'that person',
the one you always lean on.
I weary of your expectations.
of your need for me to be strong.

I want to be pathetic,
to cry and weep with you.
I want you to take my hand,
to tell me this love is true.

I need you by my side,
to sweep me off my feet.
I want to feel your strength,
watch over me while I sleep.

I want you to reach for me,
when you see me feeling down.
I need to feel your lips on mine,
sweet passion sorrows drown.

Right now I'm feeling very small,
at the bottom of your pile.
I just need you see my pain,
to love me with a smile.
19/4/2011

To conclude ...

There's a place in my mind
I try not to go.
A place locked forever
a place not for show.

It's dark and deep,
there lurking in my sleep,
it beckons me to leap,
beyond depths too deep.

Hiding myself in every day things,
keeping it all under control.
Trying to be someone I'm not,
desperately wanting to feel whole.

So many illusions,
ill-considered delusions,
time for conclusions!
15/4/2011

Pretense

Pretending,
such a silly game!
Words bending,
fluffy as a cloud.
Feelings hidden,
beneath light banter.
Thoughts unbidden,
ripped to core's centre.

I hate this new game
we play
every day.
Pretending not to care,
a lie!
A sigh!

each day, inside,
a little more,
dies . . . 
9/4/2011

Letting go ...

New beginnings and endings,
they come to us all.
I sit here still waiting
for that inevitable call.

How did it happen,
was I not paying attention,
Did I realise too late,
put my heart in detention?
I'm tired of this game,
but can't seem to stop,
My mind says enough,
but my heart wants to pop.

I wake up every morning
thinking of you.
Go to bed every night,
to dream of you too.

Time to move on.
time to let go.
I say this each night,
on my own, feeling low.

But tomorrow you'll call,
and I'll run to your side.
I'll give you my all,
while I'm taken for this ride.

I hate you, I love you,
equally in measure.
And yet, in some way,
perversely find pleasure.

Go Away!
Leave me alone!
Go play with your phone,
go do all those things that you do,
and leave me to here to slowly expire,
ALONE!
26/3/2011

Secrets

Can I wrap my arms around you,
hold your body close to mine.
Can I close my eyes and just pretend
for this moment here in time.

I'm not sure that I can carry on
to play this silly game,
My mind tells me that this can't work,
please make my heart admit the same.

To throw caution to the winds.
To let heart rule supreme.
To have it all and go beyond,
this is my secret dream.
15/3/2011

too late to retract?

I feel I've overstepped the bounds,
of polite conversation.
I've said too much and now regret,
my outburst of emotion.
I didn't mean to let it out,
nor act with such abandon.
I feel I've taken something good,
and made it something random.
Can I take my words right back,
and can I now retreat.
Or have I taken a step too far,
alone in desperate defeat?
13/3/2011

How I miss ......

How I miss our conversation,
about this and that.
Humouress interaction,
amusing chit or chat.

Sometimes a serious note,
some casual sly remark,
a barbed and sharp arrow,
sent piercing to my heart.

But more I miss your smile,
it seems so long ago.
Your words would pick me up,
when I was feeling low.

It's lonely sitting here tonight,
though everyone is near.
And while I know we did what's right,
yet still I miss you here.
20/2/2011

Love is .....

Love 1


Love, a many splendid thing?
Tis this of which great poets sing.
What else can so inspire a fool
with whispered words a heart to rule.
Would the world a better place,
without this love our pulse to race?
Or would it leave us in despair,
knowing that none did care?

I think I'll take this love with all its pain,
for while there's loss, still more to gain! 
16/2/2011


Love 2


Love, to miss him when he isn't there,
to know his faults and yet not care,
to be yourself without a fear,
knowing he is always near.
To have his children, be his wife,
to put on hold your own life.
To trust your life in another's hands,
knowing fully that he understands.

A simple view to a complex word,
my simple meaning seems quite absurd,
there is no way I can explain,
the depths of love, the joy, the pain!

... so maybe, I should abstain? 
16/2/2011

Reality Check!

Sorry I haven't been here to write
for a time, too busy to rhyme!
Hiding my dreams of unseemly thinking,
within my heart's internal shrine.
Life's reality quietly struck,
with heavy hand brought to book,
reminding me I could not touch,
my soul's burden, just to look.
Some part of me feels torn away,
beyond repair, lost, alone.
But smile I must, indeed I shall
be content with life's small bone.

perhaps . . . 
15/2/2011

Whispers

Do you know how much I love you,
do you know how much I care.
If I were gone tomorrow,
would you know I wasn't there?

If I gave away my dreams,
threw myself before your feet.
Would you notice my devotion,
would you hear my sad heart beat?

Having one love, and another,
is a wretched place to be.
Knowing that you can't have both,
that neither love is free.

Too easy to pretend
when you're not here to see.
To ignore that inner voice,
whispering to me . . .
15/1/2011

....will dream dreams

Dream your dreams,
Sweet Dreamer!
Close your eyes,
bask in the warmth
of a lover's embrace.

Throw caution to the winds,
let tomorrow take care of itself.
Live life in this moment,
of dreams, Sweet Dreamer,
dream on!
12/1/2011

tick tock!

Tired and weary,
life is dreary,
tick, tock,
life's clock,
ticks my life away,
to yet another day.

It's bad
feeling so sad,
emotionally unstable,
if I were able,
I'd say,
go away!
I hate feeling this way!
10/1/2011

Take this love away?

Needing,
heart lies
bleeding,
on the floor.

Desire,
brightly burns,
a fire,
in my soul.

Feeling,
no control,
stealing,
my thoughts away.

Taken,
beyond dreaming
shaken,
to the core.

What shall I say,
take this love away?
3/1/2011

This day only ...

Contentedly viewing the day,
stretching out to the sun.
In languid demeanour,
in quiet calmness,
past passions spent.
At peace in this moment,
this place in time.
For this one day,
briefly, 
he was mine.
30/12/2010

She Stands Alone

She stands before you,
offering her soul,
her inner self,
that precious place,
that few have had before.

With lowered eyes,
humility despised,
yet still willing
to give her heart,
in passion's burning fires.

A strange place to be,
this place inside her head.
Flying high one minute,
next a sense of fear,
wishing he was near.

Knowing she can't carry on,
lying to herself.
Overwhelmed by desire,
within a burning fire,
she gives her soul away.
21/12/2010

Longing ....

Filled with a longing
I don't understand.
A burning desire,
wade in quicksand.

Can't think straight,
in the depths of despair.
Lifted up by your smile,
as I pretend not to care.

So hard to control,
this feeling inside,
this wanton desire,
to be by your side.

Controlling my need,
to reach out and touch,
to keep you beside me,
I want you so much.
21/12/2010 

Double-edged Sword

To be lifted by a smile,
cast down by a frown.
Flying high as a kite,
to come crashing down.
Giving all of yourself,
with no thought of reward.
Holding love in your heart,
on a double-edged sword.
18/12/2010

Coming and Going

All topsy turvy,
up side down.
Turn my life
all around.
Not ever knowing,
coming and going,
head in a tizz,
mind in a whirl,
seems I've become,
that kind of girl.

One moment up,
next I'm down,
playing the fool
being the clown
Trying to pretend,
nothing is wrong,
when really I know
this can't go on.

Why am I here
in this dangerous place,
bowing my head,
hiding my face.
Part of the show
with nowhere to go.
13/12/2010

Mesmerised!

You distract me from my daily tasks,
my wandering mind with salacious thoughts.
Living my day in a hazy dream,
the things in my head,
thankfully unseen.
My life these days,
quite absurd,
The Other Woman,
silently unheard.

Still mesmerised.
Still hypnotised.
All I see is your smile
when I close my eyes.
7/12/2010

Understanding

He had my heart,
he held it in his hand.
I gave him of my soul,
he didn't understand.

He leaned upon my shoulder,
when dark his troubles grew.
I gave him all my strength,
to help him pull on through.

I thought I knew him well,
I thought he was my friend.
But now I start to question,
if this friendship's going to end.

It seems all quite unbalanced,
I'm feeling really low.
For when I need a shoulder,
there's nowhere I can go.

For all I give and give,
seems little in return
My hearts an empty vessel,
when will I ever learn?
30/11/2010

I tried ....

I tried, 
I really did!
My feelings,
carefully hid.
My thoughts,
concealed within.
My dreams,
of hidden sin.

This foolish heart
of mine
refuses
to listen
to reason!

I'm sorry . . .
18/11/2010